Martin FrimetFine food helps figure things out at Miss Marple’s
April 9th 2008 00:03
If I hadn’t been able to double-check everything, I might have thought it was all part of some strange and beautiful dream. Driving up for a day out on Melbourne’s Mount Dandenong, I was first able to feel the cool wind rush in through our open windows to feel sure that the lush and lustrous greens all about us were for real.
Next, as we stopped at the quaint tourist town of Sassafras before lunch, I was able to finger the various fittings and furnishings in the clutch of antique shops that dominate the town’s small tourist stretch, so as to feel safe that this most picture-perfect of places was still for real and that no, my dead grandmother wasn’t also about to spring out from the depths of my imagination.
Last, I was then able to taste the food on offer at Miss Marple’s Tea Room to be sure that this strange corner of Englishness tucked deep in the folds of Australiana actually existed and was not part of some odd, cheese-induced dream state.
Even then, Miss Marple’s had taken a while to convince me. An army of perma-smiled blonde waitresses greeted us, each dressed in a black and white maid’s uniform that would barely have looked out of place in a cheap French porn movie. Then both the menu and the walls came adorned with assorted facts and figures about the eponymous Miss Marple – a fictional detective created by Agatha Christie who routinely solved devilish crimes well in time for afternoon tea. Probably as intended, it was chintzy and stiff and made me feel a little staid and collared. Happily, however, when it came to the food itself, Miss Marple’s was very much more full of life.
As you would expect, all the English classics were here. Fish and chips was both a picture to look at and a pleasure on the palette, while a traditional vegetable pasty was full of flavour. The star, however, was a Ploughman’s Special, a massive plate which came overloaded with good cheeses and pickles, zesty salad and fresh warm bread, and had me happily dreaming of a second serve even before the first was finished.
Miss Marple, painted as a matronly, somewhat rotund figure, was also an unashamed fan of good afternoon tea and thus desserts came equally well-represented here. Belgian waffles were light and delicious before then being layered thickly with chocolate sauce and ice cream while, most typical of all, traditional scones were soft, subtle and then served with vast amounts of jam and cream for a grandstand finish.
Surprisingly well priced for such an obvious tourist haunt and with food that was of a consistently high-quality, I was convinced, at last, by the contented purring noises my stomach was making as we walked out, that Miss Marple’s Tea Room had been not only factual but also fantastic.
Miss Marple’s Tea Rooms
382 Mt. Dandenong Tourist Road
Sassafras
Next, as we stopped at the quaint tourist town of Sassafras before lunch, I was able to finger the various fittings and furnishings in the clutch of antique shops that dominate the town’s small tourist stretch, so as to feel safe that this most picture-perfect of places was still for real and that no, my dead grandmother wasn’t also about to spring out from the depths of my imagination.
Last, I was then able to taste the food on offer at Miss Marple’s Tea Room to be sure that this strange corner of Englishness tucked deep in the folds of Australiana actually existed and was not part of some odd, cheese-induced dream state.
Even then, Miss Marple’s had taken a while to convince me. An army of perma-smiled blonde waitresses greeted us, each dressed in a black and white maid’s uniform that would barely have looked out of place in a cheap French porn movie. Then both the menu and the walls came adorned with assorted facts and figures about the eponymous Miss Marple – a fictional detective created by Agatha Christie who routinely solved devilish crimes well in time for afternoon tea. Probably as intended, it was chintzy and stiff and made me feel a little staid and collared. Happily, however, when it came to the food itself, Miss Marple’s was very much more full of life.
As you would expect, all the English classics were here. Fish and chips was both a picture to look at and a pleasure on the palette, while a traditional vegetable pasty was full of flavour. The star, however, was a Ploughman’s Special, a massive plate which came overloaded with good cheeses and pickles, zesty salad and fresh warm bread, and had me happily dreaming of a second serve even before the first was finished.
Miss Marple, painted as a matronly, somewhat rotund figure, was also an unashamed fan of good afternoon tea and thus desserts came equally well-represented here. Belgian waffles were light and delicious before then being layered thickly with chocolate sauce and ice cream while, most typical of all, traditional scones were soft, subtle and then served with vast amounts of jam and cream for a grandstand finish.
Surprisingly well priced for such an obvious tourist haunt and with food that was of a consistently high-quality, I was convinced, at last, by the contented purring noises my stomach was making as we walked out, that Miss Marple’s Tea Room had been not only factual but also fantastic.
Miss Marple’s Tea Rooms
382 Mt. Dandenong Tourist Road
Sassafras
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